You Can't Fix Your Life in the Markets
A hard truth that took me longer than I’d like to admit: You don’t fix your personal chaos by trading your way out of it.
I’ve tried.
I know people who still are.
They latch on to the next system, the next signal, the next promised "holy grail" strategy like it's a lifeboat.
Because the marketing told them that this was the way out — the shortcut to a better life. To freedom. To finally escaping the stress, debt, or self-doubt.
They think the money will heal their relationships.
They think the win streak will erase the mess behind closed doors.
They believe if they just “make it” in the markets, everything else will somehow click into place.
Spoiler: it won’t.
Trading Is Not Therapy
When your business is on the line, or you're building something from scratch — your sheer will can carry you far.
You can brute-force your way to wins in entrepreneurship.
Same with relationships. You can grind, cry, rebuild, and sometimes your obsession pays off.
But trading doesn’t care about your effort. It doesn’t care about your trauma. And it damn sure doesn’t reward overcommitment.
The markets are brutal because they’re indifferent. No matter how hard you want it, if your edge isn’t real, your process isn’t dialled, or your emotions aren’t in check — you will bleed.
The Hidden Reason People Look for a Shortcut
Let’s talk about a friend of mine.
You probably know someone like this too.
They never want to talk about money.
Not their debts, not their spending, not their bank balance.
They avoid budgeting like it might bite.
But suddenly, they’re obsessed with crypto or forex or the latest get-rich-quick trading strategy they saw on Instagram.
They have aspirations of having "more money" but no clarity on what that looks like or how they plan to manage it.
They don’t track their day-to-day outgoings, but they’re ready to risk thousands in the markets.
Because deep down, they don’t want a plan — they want an escape.
And the financial system they just bought for $499 promised them the way out.
But here’s the uncomfortable truth: Until you fix your internal relationship with money, it won’t matter how many strategies you learn. You can’t receive what you secretly resent, fear, or feel unworthy of.
The Difference: Force vs Flow
The biggest lie people bring into trading from the business world is that force = success.
In business, urgency can create results.
In trading, urgency kills you.
Because trading isn’t about momentum.
It’s about balance. It's about repeatable processes. It's about being detached from the outcome.
This is where most traders — especially high-achievers — burn out.
They’re used to being in control. But in the markets, control is an illusion.
You can execute perfectly and still lose.
You can make money and still be wrong. You can plan for every scenario and still get blindsided.
Reality Transurfing and the Power of Letting Go
One of the most impactful books I’ve ever read is Reality Transurfing by Vadim Zeland. It’s weird. Esoteric. But it nails a critical idea: excess potential.
Here’s the gist: The more you need something to happen, the more resistance you create.
The stronger your attachment to the outcome, the more the system (call it the market, call it life) pushes it away.
You want the trade to work so badly… You’re emotionally invested in the result… You’ve mentally spent the profits before the candle closes…
And that’s exactly why you lose. Because your desperation blocks the flow.
Same reason people say: “You’ll only find love when you stop looking for it,” or “The money comes when you don’t need it.”
In trading, this isn’t just a nice idea — it’s a law. The more emotionally attached you are to the result, the less likely you are to achieve it.
What to Do Instead
Detach.
Not in a passive, checked-out way.
Detach while being deeply disciplined.
Show up.
Execute your system.
Track your data.
But stop trying to bend the market to your will.
Let go of the need to win — and ironically, that’s when you start to.
Because, unlike in business or relationships, where your drive can move mountains… In trading, you only win when you get out of your own way.
Final Thoughts
You can’t trade your way out of emotional baggage.
You can’t fix your past through a profit and loss statement.
And the market won’t love you back just because you “really need this win.”
Trading is a mirror.
It reflects your insecurities, your ego, your lack of self-trust.
Want to become a better trader?
Start with becoming a calmer, more balanced human.
Clean up your relationship with money.
Start tracking where it goes.
Learn how to hold and be grateful for what you already have before chasing more.
Because the money doesn’t fix you.
You fix you.
And then the money follows that energy — not the other way around.
If you want more thoughts on successful trading, check out my YouTube. I share videos specifically on trading alongside my freelancing content: https://www.youtube.com/@dommarcuscoyne/search?query=trading